School number 33, Anglican High School.
Silver.

Yupp. that's the results man. gosh. i was stunned. it was my best performance ever. serious. but anw, i think.. it's very technical this year man. ah nvm.
anw i really don't know what to say man.
Perc started with Safari. i felt that it was the most 'qi' we ever played.. those 4 bars of intro. i was like shakin lol.. i mean.. we started the whole band mah.. pressure lol. but anw, well done us sec 4s and huiling for Safari. =))
then Noah's ark. it was great. at least i felt it was.. i was almost gonna freak on my roll.. but hey, it was great.. came in rather smoothly.. and yea, i'm proud of that. and the parade of animals and meno mosso and andante was so dam great. we were playing music , i dare say.. and it was so so touching =)) and i seriously enjoyed it. my last syf, my last performance.
aft playing i was like friggin happy cause i thought we did really well.. i was so darn friggin proud of perc.. dunno.. i just could really feel alot of music when playing, so yea i felt accomplished.

but then when the results came out, first was catholic high. they got a silver.
everyone was just stunned man. there was an awkward pause before some clapping started.. walau i think everyone's hopes were smashed when they got a silver man. they were a gwh band too. then the rest came one by one.. majority being silver. then came band 33, us. we were all holding each others' hands man.. it's like sheesh man. it seemed so long, the wait for our results after he announced school 33 anglican high school.. but then out came a silver. it was like.. an undescribable sudden drop in the atmosphere. serious. immediately after the word "silver" we all broke our hands loose.. and just stonned there. many ppl were friggin stunned la. i was just stoning at my seat with my fists clenched.. kinda took awhile to seep into me. then ppl started crying lol. i was just listening blankly to the remaining results. some ppl got bronze. they cheered. some got silver. they too cheered. adn i don't know man.. the atmosphere for us nvr picked up a single bit. it got worse la. after the results we just sat there like totally in a daze not knowing what to do.. nobody said a word, nobody moved a twitch man. i took a moment off my dazing to look arnd me. it was like, everybody had their heads down man. nobody was looking up. the only thing i saw was ppl crying. gosh. it was honestly the saddest sight i've ever seen. i can't get over it. walau. then daniel and william were the first to come down. piang they walked to the front with that sad and lost face and looked at us.. like walau.. that totally made things worse man.. we all felt even more disappointed and at a total loss.
but lol. good thing we managed to get ourselves to walk out of the hall lol. but then i saw koshing. gosh. then cannot tahan liao.. man i felt so friggin sorry man. like i cao let them down..
it was like everyone outside he hall was seriously trampled. shit that lousy feeling of a silver. shit that sight of seeing my bandmates and percmates feeling so defeated. shit that sight of seeing everyone cry. shit that feeling of overwhelming disappointment to my alumni. argh.
then walau. aft that we had to move the stuff back to the lorry and get back to sch. then the stupid bus take so long to come lol.. everybody just stood at the road agn and stoned again. made the feeling even worse la. and the bus ride back to school was the worst ever. it was a silent ride. same thing, nobody said a single word and still gt alot of ppl crying. walau dam sad la.. then yinting and qiujun were tring to console ppl. hah thanks alot man. =))

but anw, the alumni said they were proud of us. mrs chua is too.. i think.
i'm so deeply touched by their support. i really never expected such encouragement after we got a silver. thanks.
THANKS MR & MRS CHUA FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND TRUST IN AHBAND.. without you there won't even be AHband!
thanks Mr Chin for coming to support.. i seriously appreciate it =))
thanks Mrs Lam, Mrs Neo & Ms Teo for driving the band on =))
thanks all alumni for letting ahband have the biggest group of supporters!
thanks Yinting and Koshing and Qiujun and Jevon for turning up too. it was great to see y'all.
sorry mr and mrs chua for letting u down, despite your tremendous trust in us.
sorry alumni esp Yinting and Koshing for disappointing u too. this syf i was actually doing it for you, but terribly sorry i couldn't make you proud. it feels as if i've failed as a member of ahband, as a senior member, more importantly as an SL. u really really had high hopes on us, and a thousand thanks would not be enough for all the time taken to teach us, more so the effort to teach us. sorry that all your effort has not been repaid. sorry that we did not justify what the alumni back then did just to obtain the instruments that we are able to play now.

up till now i'm still wondering what would happen if we just put in that little more effort. up till now i'm still wondering why i blamed others initially, and not myself. myself for being so f slack and a total idiot. crap la. mayb it was because of me not being able to teach the section well so that they could bring the band up even more. mayb it's because of my playing that even the day before syf i was still lacking in some areas.
i still wonder why. why i still reserved effort, why not all my effort was put into the preparation stages, why hadn't i been a good sl. i feel bad to my sec 4s and worse to my jnrs, who worked so much friggin harder than me. wth man.
so what's with optimism. it changes your view on things but it doesn't change things.. that's one thing i realised.

anw, hope my jnrs will be motivated to work terribly hard. i know they will.
Syf '07. it's history.

-out-

one after another. give me a break man.